Choosing A Massage Therapist: Male Vs. Female
Friday March 9, 2007
More than 80% of massage therapists are female, according to The American Association of Massage Therapy, but male therapists still have a problem getting appointments. That's because most people say "female" when a spa receptionist asks if they have a preference for their massage therapist. Find out why people prefer female massage therapists over male and why they should reconsider. And let me know if YOU have a gender preference.
Comments
I’m a male and prefer a female therapist. I’ve had both, but since the predominate reason I get various spa treatments is for the sensual (not sexual) aspects. My preference is not for modesty reasons, as I have no problems with the relaxed attitudes of some European spas about nudity.
I have been receiving massage since I was 11 years old, and was a professional therapist for 25 years. I have found few GREAT therapists, male or female. I think males in the business more often have an ego problem and try to domineer and/or over-estimate their competence. I have had many experiences of the “drape” sliding off, hands up the thighs, and worse, with males. There seems a sex bias about being in a position of serving the client instead of serving one’s own sense of importance. One has the right to get up off a table and say, “I’m cutting this short,” if anything starts to feel OFF, with either sex, psychoanalyzing can be just as invasive as phsyical groping, as well as working too hard on sensitive areas, promising one type of massage and doing another etc. I much prefer a therapist in business for themselves even in a spa town; some of us really need massage for chronic pain or other reasons, those people must be more cautious. I had hundreds ofpeople tell me about bad experiences they had and not one of them said they spoke up about it at the time. I am currently writing a book on how to get the massage you’re paying for!
When I first started visiting spas and getting massages, I was gender neutral about my attendant, and I’m still willing to give either one a try. However, the two best massages I’ve ever had were both delivered by women, and two of the three worst by men. If this trend continues, I may start stating a preference.
So far I’ve had but one masseur work on me, and this has occurred six times. As a female, I was reluctant at first to have a male doing the massage. However, he’s always provided me with the massage I’m seeking, though I’ve not given him much advice. I just let him find my needs and he seems to pick up on my mood as the massage goes on.
Do I prefer males? Yes. But, then, there’s only been one masseur in my life. So I have nothing else to go by.
The first post mentioned nudity. I’ve always gone nude, and find it both sensual and relaxing. If you are not confortable being nude with the person providing the massage, then I suspect you do not trust him or her fully. And I suspect you are confusing nudity with sex.
I’m male, and I prefer a female massage therapist. In fact, I will not have a male massage therapist. Aside from the fact that I do believe a high percentage of them are gay, I just do not want to be rubbed/touched in that way by a man. I know there are those here who say I can change if I take some type of therapy classes…the fact is, I don’t want to change. When 80% of the massage therapists are female, there is no incentive or reason for me to. I understand there are good male massage therapists..they just won’t be seeing me anytime soon. I would never relax in that situation.
I am presently a RMT student whom does not mind being treated by a male or female (gay/straight) provided the therapist is skilled and professional. As a male therapist I am very conscious of the gender dynamics that people may have. I find it strange that people assume so much based on the gender. The quality of massage is based on skill, a persons (clients) comfort level is bases on any number of factors. My best treatments have been by experienced therapists. If your new to massage ask questions, the last thing a massage therapist wants to do is make you nervous.
I am a female massage therapist and receive massage on a regular basis. I don’t have a preference based upon gender, race or anything personally related to my therapist. One thing I find though is that the females I’ve had were often more nurturing and listened better. I felt the massage was about me and my needs were heard. With the males I’ve had oftentimes it felt they had their own agenda, like they knew everything and that they wanted to “fix” me in one visit and at times it felt too aggressive to me.
When I see a client I always ask what they would like worked on, or the focus of the visit. I’m an intuitive Healer and I often “find” things a client may not have been aware of. But I find it crucial to listen to them upfront and then address that specific concern. Trust is a vital part of the treatment and that trust has to be earned. By being present and treating my client as a whole I assist him or her in creating well being overall.
I really enjoy getting a massage. It relaxes me and relieves stress. I prefer a male therapist to a female. I’m a gay man and I am not comfortable with a woman toughing my body, especially when I am naked under a sheet. Asking for a male, however, has presented me with problems. If the male masseur is straight, he often concludes that the client is gay, and would rather not give the massage. They don’t say so, or refuse. They just do a terrible job. On at least two occasions, for example, the therapist pressed my cheeks into my teeth and held them there until I demanded he stop. This is very unprofessional and does not speak well for the profession. Is it appropriate to speak to the masseur directly about this prior to the session? I just want a massage, and don’t want to make a trip into the big city where a gay therapist would be readily available. And why should I have to?
I have had massages from both sexes and have always had a less than desirable experience with a female. They have always been rough and have wanted to talk me to death and I do not enjoy lenghty conversation when I am trying to relax. Often I have been sore throughout the shoulders for a few days afterwards. Having a male has always been great for me. They have always applied the right amount of pressure without pain and without me wincing throughout a session or telling them what to do. I went to the spa locally this past weekend and I found the greatest therapist ever and I will be one of his regular clients. I am not comfortable with a female at all.
I would never have a massaage from a male therapist. First off, a high percentage of male therapists I have met have been gay or would seem that way. But really, I just am not comfortable being massaged by a man, whether they are heterosexual or gay. I wouldn’t relax in that situation, which is a main goal in massage. Massage is not sexual, but there is an intimate part about it, no matter how hard a therapist distances themselves from their clients. You are supposed to relax and tell people about your aches and pains, and that is something I could never feel comfortable doing with another male. Females tend to be more sympathetic or have more empathy. I just don’t open up to other males and have no desire to, frankly.