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Anitra Brown

Choosing A Massage Therapist: Male Vs. Female

By March 9, 2007

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More than 80% of massage therapists are female, according to The American Association of Massage Therapy, but male therapists still have a problem getting appointments. That's because most people say "female" when a spa receptionist asks if they have a preference for their massage therapist. Find out why people prefer female massage therapists over male and why they should reconsider. And let me know if YOU have a gender preference.
Comments
March 10, 2007 at 5:17 pm
(1) Steve says:

I’m a male and prefer a female therapist. I’ve had both, but since the predominate reason I get various spa treatments is for the sensual (not sexual) aspects. My preference is not for modesty reasons, as I have no problems with the relaxed attitudes of some European spas about nudity.

March 11, 2007 at 9:23 am
(2) emma says:

I have been receiving massage since I was 11 years old, and was a professional therapist for 25 years. I have found few GREAT therapists, male or female. I think males in the business more often have an ego problem and try to domineer and/or over-estimate their competence. I have had many experiences of the “drape” sliding off, hands up the thighs, and worse, with males. There seems a sex bias about being in a position of serving the client instead of serving one’s own sense of importance. One has the right to get up off a table and say, “I’m cutting this short,” if anything starts to feel OFF, with either sex, psychoanalyzing can be just as invasive as phsyical groping, as well as working too hard on sensitive areas, promising one type of massage and doing another etc. I much prefer a therapist in business for themselves even in a spa town; some of us really need massage for chronic pain or other reasons, those people must be more cautious. I had hundreds ofpeople tell me about bad experiences they had and not one of them said they spoke up about it at the time. I am currently writing a book on how to get the massage you’re paying for!

March 31, 2007 at 11:16 am
(3) Betsy says:

When I first started visiting spas and getting massages, I was gender neutral about my attendant, and I’m still willing to give either one a try. However, the two best massages I’ve ever had were both delivered by women, and two of the three worst by men. If this trend continues, I may start stating a preference.

July 25, 2007 at 5:13 am
(4) Ann says:

So far I’ve had but one masseur work on me, and this has occurred six times. As a female, I was reluctant at first to have a male doing the massage. However, he’s always provided me with the massage I’m seeking, though I’ve not given him much advice. I just let him find my needs and he seems to pick up on my mood as the massage goes on.

Do I prefer males? Yes. But, then, there’s only been one masseur in my life. So I have nothing else to go by.

The first post mentioned nudity. I’ve always gone nude, and find it both sensual and relaxing. If you are not confortable being nude with the person providing the massage, then I suspect you do not trust him or her fully. And I suspect you are confusing nudity with sex.

June 8, 2008 at 11:55 pm
(5) Bretti says:

I’m male, and I prefer a female massage therapist. In fact, I will not have a male massage therapist. Aside from the fact that I do believe a high percentage of them are gay, I just do not want to be rubbed/touched in that way by a man. I know there are those here who say I can change if I take some type of therapy classes…the fact is, I don’t want to change. When 80% of the massage therapists are female, there is no incentive or reason for me to. I understand there are good male massage therapists..they just won’t be seeing me anytime soon. I would never relax in that situation.

November 17, 2008 at 3:35 am
(6) M.D says:

I am presently a RMT student whom does not mind being treated by a male or female (gay/straight) provided the therapist is skilled and professional. As a male therapist I am very conscious of the gender dynamics that people may have. I find it strange that people assume so much based on the gender. The quality of massage is based on skill, a persons (clients) comfort level is bases on any number of factors. My best treatments have been by experienced therapists. If your new to massage ask questions, the last thing a massage therapist wants to do is make you nervous.

November 18, 2008 at 10:41 pm
(7) Anke says:

I am a female massage therapist and receive massage on a regular basis. I don’t have a preference based upon gender, race or anything personally related to my therapist. One thing I find though is that the females I’ve had were often more nurturing and listened better. I felt the massage was about me and my needs were heard. With the males I’ve had oftentimes it felt they had their own agenda, like they knew everything and that they wanted to “fix” me in one visit and at times it felt too aggressive to me.
When I see a client I always ask what they would like worked on, or the focus of the visit. I’m an intuitive Healer and I often “find” things a client may not have been aware of. But I find it crucial to listen to them upfront and then address that specific concern. Trust is a vital part of the treatment and that trust has to be earned. By being present and treating my client as a whole I assist him or her in creating well being overall.

January 9, 2009 at 1:43 am
(8) Paul says:

I really enjoy getting a massage. It relaxes me and relieves stress. I prefer a male therapist to a female. Iím a gay man and I am not comfortable with a woman toughing my body, especially when I am naked under a sheet. Asking for a male, however, has presented me with problems. If the male masseur is straight, he often concludes that the client is gay, and would rather not give the massage. They donít say so, or refuse. They just do a terrible job. On at least two occasions, for example, the therapist pressed my cheeks into my teeth and held them there until I demanded he stop. This is very unprofessional and does not speak well for the profession. Is it appropriate to speak to the masseur directly about this prior to the session? I just want a massage, and donít want to make a trip into the big city where a gay therapist would be readily available. And why should I have to?

January 26, 2009 at 8:23 pm
(9) Gena says:

I have had massages from both sexes and have always had a less than desirable experience with a female. They have always been rough and have wanted to talk me to death and I do not enjoy lenghty conversation when I am trying to relax. Often I have been sore throughout the shoulders for a few days afterwards. Having a male has always been great for me. They have always applied the right amount of pressure without pain and without me wincing throughout a session or telling them what to do. I went to the spa locally this past weekend and I found the greatest therapist ever and I will be one of his regular clients. I am not comfortable with a female at all.

February 25, 2009 at 10:54 pm
(10) brett says:

I would never have a massaage from a male therapist. First off, a high percentage of male therapists I have met have been gay or would seem that way. But really, I just am not comfortable being massaged by a man, whether they are heterosexual or gay. I wouldn’t relax in that situation, which is a main goal in massage. Massage is not sexual, but there is an intimate part about it, no matter how hard a therapist distances themselves from their clients. You are supposed to relax and tell people about your aches and pains, and that is something I could never feel comfortable doing with another male. Females tend to be more sympathetic or have more empathy. I just don’t open up to other males and have no desire to, frankly.

August 5, 2009 at 7:19 pm
(11) garth stephens says:

I am a male licensed massage therapist. I read some of the other comments here is mine. I am very good at what I do. I have no ego I am not overbearing I do not infuse my sexuality into my work. I just give a great massage. I hope that both genders would give male massage therapist a chance to show them what they can do on an independant basis rather that lump a gender into a certain grouping. I believe that the spa goer wants a good massage period. If that is what they want I urge you to give male therapists a chance and weigh males on an individual basis rater that grouping them. I have actually had many women clients tell me that they prefer males to females because the female cant get those deep knots out due to strenth. What ever the case may be I urge all spa people to give the men a chance to show what they can do. You may be suprised I work in the Palm Springs area.

August 10, 2009 at 3:57 pm
(12) rob says:

i’m male and prefer the strength of another male and his intimate knowledge of how the male body reacts to massage

September 2, 2009 at 6:11 pm
(13) Gary says:

I have heard many of these comments over the years but have never experienced anyone not enjoying the massage they chose. I think there are certain overtones with the Question ‘Do you prefer a Male or Female therapist. I have been running my own practice for the last three years and only one woman has asked for a female therapist and in the same time period only one male asked for a female therapist. I have clients from many religions and variety of backgrounds but they all get the session time and more sometimes or discounts for regular custom.
I welcome all who want to visit and enjoy whatever treatment is chosen in a way designed for the individual. This can include type of massage, pressure, underwear or nude. In fact I have both male and female clients who start stripping off entering the therapy room.
There is something truly relaxing about being nude and the skill of the therapist is to massage and find the tension to release this while they maintain their expertly learned towel folding.
Some people prefer naturist style and that is okay but I dim the lights and my hadns work the body as if detached, they read the body. If I feel or sense a female client is not comfortable I’ll ask them to keep her bra on too and undo it when working the back and fasen it before asking her to turn over.
Surprisingly in my five and a half years at local hotel group I had one complaint of my treatments. To my amazement my general manager said that the mature lady in room…. complained you didn’t go high enough up the inner thighs… What’s that about queer as folk.

Golden Rules
1) Don’t discount a Male therapist.

2) Make sure you feel comfortable with surroundings and the therapist male or female.

3) Choose therapy you want before going unless you realy need advice on best option if practice’s more than one which may suit or help condition. Have these explained.

4) I always ask people to do this: Call or pop in to see therapist and see if there is the surity of putting yourself in the therapists hands. I don’t mind people asking what the therapy entails especially if not experienced massage before or know they didn’t feel comfortable when having previous massage.

5) I prefer my clients through reccommendation. Everyone knows someone who has massage. Ask friends and family or work colleagues.

6) Use a therapist attached to workplace if you’re lucky enough to have a forward thinking company.

7) Never be affraid to ask questions.

8) Don’t generalise be precise be safe and feel great after the massage.

9) Therapies are becoming more regulated so it is easy to check and confirm registrations and qualifications.

10) Nude and sex are seperate and can be found together but choice of place and therapist will determine what your looking for. This would open up a whole debate on massage again or types of massage but that is why you find a therapist you can be comfortable with. You choose after shopping around like with anything else.

Enjoy safe and pleasurable massage and feel great…

Enjoy sex too…

And your Holiday if not already been…. If gone with the sun rays then I hope it was a good one.

N.B. The majority of massage is first experienced when on holidy or away from home i.e. weekend away.

The next is curiousity at what all the fuss is about.

The rest is history… and unless you live in Dorset or surrounding area you will probably never experience the best massage ever…..?

If you want to try… ring me on 07757285402 You can arrange a visit and free consultation with no obligation…?

January 9, 2010 at 2:24 pm
(14) Joe says:

I’m a licensed massage therapist in cincinnati Oh.I hope that you will tell your therapist what you want. tell us things like your medical history,If you want deep, relaxation,triggerpoint whatever. The massage is about you.
Always tell your therapist if you want quiet, if you don’t want to be worked on in areas.anything you want us to know.YOU ARE ALWAYS IN CHARGE.After all you pay me.Remember you are in charge.
YOU CAN STOP A MASSAGE ANY TIME FOR ANY REASON.
Weather you pic a male or female the massage is about you.If your not ok with a male go to a female.
It is that simple.
There are thousands of us out there you can find the best therapist for you.
If you have questions you can e mail me, joemassagetherapist@gmail.com

February 15, 2010 at 10:19 pm
(15) randall says:

Im a male therapist and I hate when male therapist only go to female therapist. We have a hard enough time getting clients as it is. I go to whom every is open both ( M/F), Its about the massage. I think those of yyou that are homophobic need to wake up, and personally, you might have more issuse’s with your sex then the person trying to relax you.

March 17, 2010 at 7:11 pm
(16) Bill says:

I am a male and have no preference. I feel like a man can actually give a deeper massage. I feel bad for all of the men who can’t get clients. As long as you can get comfortable and relax, I don’t think it matters who does your massage. People need to get past these homophobic feelings!

June 8, 2010 at 2:42 am
(17) d says:

As a therapist, who has experienced both male, and females, I find it offensive, and foolish, that in this day and time we still have a hang up on this preconceived notion that gay or straight play’s a roll in the proffessionalism of massage therapy. You are paying for a service people if you have a problem with the therapist being male then that is a issue within your self and has nothing at all to do with the massage..

June 8, 2010 at 7:50 am
(18) Rahul says:

I am a certified spa therapist and have been doing therapies,massages for more than three years.Though initially I had no choice but to offer services to males only,I always believed that cross gender therapies prove to be best in case the therapist is professional and compassionate and client gives him or her a fair chance to prove that he or she is worth it.Now I freelance and offer services to women only who opt for me.Yes,I am not so much occupied these days but then I am happy as long as I do what I believe to be the best.

June 13, 2010 at 12:36 am
(19) jun says:

As a male therapist, it’s very difficult to find jobs and build clientele especially just after school. Not enough clients mean less practice, so I can’t advance my skill as fast as female therapists at the beginning.

Due to stereo type about man are stronger than female, I have to work extra hard on my client compare to my female colleague, got to put in extra arms and elbows.

Due to minimum client source I appreciate each returned client more. Try hard to improve my skills and please each client on my table by finding out what they really needs and get to the source of their complains and try to solve their problems.

I enjoy give massage to both male and female as long as they are comfortable with me. So often when a client sounded so guilty on the phone telling me that they prefer female therapist, and they don’t want to offend me. I always ensure them it’s OK. A massage is only good when it’s done by some one you trust and feeling comfortable with.

It’s hard to build practice in the beginning, but as a male therapist, my clientele are more royal in terms of following me in my practices.

I am now running a busy mobile massage services in Downtown Toronto, and looking for more male therapists with good hands.

July 28, 2010 at 10:58 am
(20) Doug says:

To all of the people who feel uncomfortable with a male therapist, consider this. Is your physician a male? Do you have any specialists who are male? Are you comfortable with them during an office visit? There is essentially no diference. We are trained professionals as well.

August 18, 2010 at 12:19 pm
(21) Michael says:

I have been a massage therapist for eight years now. I am a male that practices in a hospital setting in Nashville, Tennessee, I find that even in a very professional hospital setting people still have hang-ups about male vs. female therapist. Good grief, we are living in the 21st century but some still the victorian age mind set.

As most therapist will tell you (male and female) you are just a slab of meat on a table and your buttocks and front are covered (by law). We are not your gyno or proctologist!!!

September 11, 2010 at 7:12 pm
(22) H says:

I am a male and have had massages by both men and women. I prefer male therapists as they (in general) seem to be less timid about applying pressure and they are less uptight about steering clear of potentially erogenous zones. I have had some women who would only massage the distal third of the inner thigh.

September 12, 2010 at 12:33 am
(23) Akmed says:

It sounds like Bretti Paul and Brett are all the same person……….. Here’s what you all need to do.

Stop being so goddamn insecure. You all sound like 12 year olds. If you’re not comfortable with yourself, how can you be comfortable with a woman homie?
The therapist is there to make sure you are relaxed and relieved in a way, at the end. Who cares if it’s another male. Man, therapists that are working are working hard to make a living. It’s hard enough to keep other relationships going, plus there’s a difference between a therapeutic relationship and a friendship. You need to learn this stuff bra.
anyway I’m a male in massage school right now and I love it so far. Trying to add some more males to the mix…….. but my class has 13 females and only 3 of us guys hahaha.
Massage is amazing and I love it….. that’s why I’m doing it. Not cuz i’m “gay” or “would seem that way.” Because it is a beautiful art.
Let loose, free yourself!

October 7, 2010 at 10:24 pm
(24) stephanie welch says:

MALE OR FEMALE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MASSAGE . THE MASSAGE SHOULD BE DIFFERENT FOR WHAT EVER STYLE YOU PERSONALLY ARE LOOKING FOR. MALE OR FEMALE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH A PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE. YOU MAY HAVE THE DEEPEST BEST MYOFACIAL WORK FROM A TINY 90 POUND FEMALE MASSAGE THERAPIST OVER A MAN WHOS 6FOOT 4 AND HAS HANDS THE SIZE OF BALL GLOVES…HAHAH SOOO YOU HAVE TO FIND WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR MALE OR FEMALE SHOULD HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT YOUR DECISION IS. UNLESS YOU HAVE DEEP ISSUES WITH EITHER MEN OR WOMEN OF COURSE . BUT YOU MAY GET A GENTLE SOFT VERY RELAXING NURTURING MASSAGE FROM A GIANT.. YOU SHOULD NOT PRE JUDGE JUST SHOP AROUND AND ASK THE PROFESSIONAL S BEFORE YOUR APPOINTMENT TELL THE SPA WHAT YOU WANT AND WHY AND THEY WILL ACCOMMODATE YOUR NEEDS. I PROMISE YOU THIS KEEP AN OPEN MIND AS WELL… THE BEST MASSAGE WILL BE THE ONE YOU RESEARCH BY ASKING IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.

October 7, 2010 at 11:29 pm
(25) QUIETLY READING COMMENTS says:

OK I DID NOT READ SOME OF THESE OR ALL OF THEM BEFORE I PLACED A COMMENT , BUT,, NOW THAT I HAVE READ SOME OF THEM SHAME ON YOU MASSAGE THERAPISTS WHO ARE USING YOUR NAME AND EMAILS AND ETC FOR ATTENTION OR BUSINESS. SHAME ON YOU FOR HAVING ISSUES AND NOW IM WONDERING IF THERE ARE MORE MASSAGE THERAPISTS WITH ISSUES THAN THE CLIENTS I WAS UNDERSTANDING THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE MAKING MASSAGE TOOOOO COMPLICATED IN OTHER WORDS THE CLIENTS. BUT NOW THAT I SEE ALL OF THIS IM BEGINNING TO WONDER IF THE THERAPISTS ARE MORE UNSTABLE THEN THE CLIENTS WITH ISSUES… I HAVE HAD MY LICENSE FOR 15 YEARS . NOT TOOTING MY HORN BUT WHEN I WAS IN CHARGE OF A MANAGEMENT POSISION AND SPA DIRECTOR THEN STARTED INTERVIEWING MASSAGE PROFESSIONALS I SAW AN UNUSUAL TREND IN THE PAST FEW YEARS ALOT OF THE 50 SOME PEOPLE THAT I INTERVIEWED HAVE THINGS THEY WONT DO . I DONT DO THE THIGH I DONT DO THE FEET AT ALL. BY THE WAY I HAD 14 APPLICANTS FOR JOBS AS MASSAGE LICENSED MASSAGE APPLICANTS THAT SAID WITH NO DOUBT THEY DID NOT DO FOOT MASSAGES AT ALL EVER. WELL THAT MADE IT EASY FOR ME AS A DIRECTOR TO WEED OUT THE PROFESSIONALS THAT WOULD NOT MAKE IT IN THE SPA FOR WHICH I WAS INTERVIEWING… I HAD 12 TELL ME THAT THEY WOULD NOT MASSAGE MENS THIGHS OR ABOVE THE KNEE… THEN THREE MALE THERAPISTS THAT SAID THEY WOULD NOT MASSAGE OTHER MEN AND TWO THAT SAID THEY WOULD NOT WORK ON PREGNANCY MASSAGE AT ALL EVER MEN WOMEN WHO WOULD NOT WORK ON MEN AT ALL YES AND SOME WHO REFUSED TO EVEN TAKE THE SHEETS OFF THE TABLE THEY THOUGHT SOMEONE ELSE SHOULD DO THAT FOR THEM . OTHERS THAT WOULD NOT WORK ON OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE AND SOME THAT WOULD NOT DO MORE THAN TWO MASSAGES IN ONE DAY…I HAVE HEARD IT ALL AND NOW IM BEGINNING TO WONDER ARE THERE ALOT OF PEOPLE IN THE WRONG BUSINESS I WONDER I WONDER EVERYDAY.. YOU SHOULD AS YOUR SELF AS A PROFESSIONAL DO I NEED TO WALK AWAY BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE ALOT OF YOU NEED TO FIND ANOTHER CAREER TRULY.

October 22, 2010 at 11:56 am
(26) Miss Mira says:

I’ve been getting massage for about 7 years and everytime i left the massage centre it i felt very light and energetic.There was a day when iall the female therapist were fully booked but i could’nt wait so the recepcionist booked me a male therapist.At first i was reluctant and embarrased since i’ve never had a male massuer before but after hearing words like’ oh don’t worry he’s very professional and experiance .He’s a ‘nice guy’ and many sweet impressions and so on.So i decided to give him a chance.

I was unclothed but draped during the first 15minutes or so and everything went smooth.I told him not to massage my butts and my breats and he said ok but later his hands were rubbing my inner thighs and i told him off.Ok he apologised but only to find his hands again on my inner thighs but this time he suddenly directlt touch my buttocks and my vagina!!

I got up right there and then and stop the session.i’ve also made a report againts him of sexual misconduct and the case is still pending in court.Since then ,i never ever allow a male massuer to massage me again .period.I was traumatised and felt extremely ashamed for a long time and to keep them a secret from my husband was a shameful guilt i can remember for the rest of my life.I know that if he were to find out that i’ve let a male therapist touched my body ,hell sure he would end up our marriage as he’s an extremely jealous husband.

October 24, 2010 at 10:03 am
(27) laily kuza says:

I’m a woman and i would never imagine of allowing a male therapist to massage me, not even my feet! There was a recent case in the UK where a male therapist sexually molested four women during massage and was charged in court.
Oh my GOD! why the hell would those females choose a male to see and touch them in a closed door room? Don’t these females have any modesty left?
I think those females clients of that spa deserve to be fondled or even rape by the male therapist because any male for that matter could not resist touching and seeing a naked woman in the room with only two of them as if begging the male therapist to massage and pleasure them sexually !

October 25, 2010 at 12:52 pm
(28) kering ganggu says:

For intimate care such as bed bath, cath or changing the bed pan, we won’t allow male nurse to do that.
Now, if i have a choice , i would prefer only females medical staffs to attend to her during medical exams but i know this is not possible .SO let it be.
But whenever she goes to a health spa ,i would make sure that she would not be booked with a male therapist .If there were no female therapists or they were all too busy,it’s not a big deal,we come back on another day or time.If still the we couldn’t find any female therapist for the whole week, or even the whole month ,so be it. We go to another spa untill we find a female therapist who is free to massage her.
However i allow male hairstylists to cut her hair only but not wash her hair.For foot reflexlogy, we get only female therapists.
Am i an overprotective or an overjealous male?yes, why of course shes the one who sleeps and have sex with me only.I’m the only man who is allowed to see, touch and make love to her.
1-Recent news in the UK says about a male therapist was charged in court for sexual misconduct.He was accused of fondling and inappropriately touching his four female clients in a health spa.
2-A male nurse suspected of raping 3 female patients under sedation in a hospital.He is still on the run.
3-A male nurse in the US was taken to court for groping two female patient’s buttocks and breasts.
4-Too many too list here on male therapist, male nurses, male doctors, male morgue attendants, male bus drivers, male taxi drivers and so on .OF all the sexual cases, 99.99% of the victims were females and 99.99% of the perpertrators were males of all backgrounds.
So decent males, please protect your woman’s modesty, dignity ,purity, and pride .To all immodest and promiscuous women out there,Your final resting place is hell to abibe in forever.

December 18, 2010 at 7:06 am
(29) Mike says:

Hell, why don’t we just not let men do anything ever? We’re all rapists and out to “fondle” you, right? Get real. Nobody goes into a profession to grope people that are trusting them so much, especially when it’s something that requires so much money and time invested in order to become successful at-especially if you’re a man. That’s a good way to end up in jail and have that license you paid thousands of dollars and hours to get taken away instantly, and all massage therapists know this. I’m honestly amazed at the lack of intelligence in a lot of these above posts.

January 12, 2011 at 7:03 pm
(30) Don says:

I prefer a male to a female therapist. I’ve had massages from both and have never had a decent one from a masseuse. They’re too light, concentrate on the skin rather than the muscle/tissue under it and have generally been pretty perfunctory in the delivery. Men, in my experience, get in there, aren’t afraid to apply some pressure or find the trigger points. Maybe I’ve just been unlucky with women therapists, but I always request a male masseur.

February 19, 2011 at 1:01 pm
(31) female client says:

My favorite massage therapist is male. He has this healing touch and I don’t feel uncomfortable at all even when he rubs my thighs or buttocks. He’s chatty and jovial and we always have a good laugh.

I think I prefer a male therapist. Maybe I’m just imagining, but I think that it hurts less (I like a brisk sports massage). Guess it has to do with men having bigger hands.

I’m sorry to hear that male therapists have a hard time building a clientele. I wasn’t aware of this. From now on, if I go someplace else than to my regular masseur, I will ask for a male. Until now, I have said I have no gender preference.

And really, girls, give male therapists a chance to show what they can do! Who knows, the best therapist in your area may happen to be a man.

March 25, 2011 at 10:26 am
(32) eb says:

I am a female massage therapist. I empathize with male therapists: it’s true that most clients, male or female, prefer female therapists. Which is silly….males are naturally stronger, so if one is looking for a deep tissue massage, a skilled male is totally the way to go. I break myself trying to utilize techniques that my boyfriend does while watching tv.
I do know this: all professions have oogie people. So that sucks. BUT. As a therapist I can say wholeheartedly that sex is the absolute LAST thing on my mind during massage. In fact, I am looking at the body in a similar way that a doctor would. I am trying to figure out the physiological reasons why your body might be doing whatever it is doing. Assessing, reassessing, stretching, organizing the time I have for the session, listening for cues from my clients, etc.
Some of the comments left here have been by people talking about the “sensual” aspects of the massage. You’re creepy people, and I would end my sessions with the likes of you. There is a huge difference between an intimate and sensual setting, and if you’re looking for “sensual”, you need to find a cheap escort, or a prostitute. Quit tainting our profession.

June 26, 2011 at 1:12 am
(33) Pete says:

The discussion is somewhat comical. I’m a guy and most of my guy friends would never to to a male therapist because it is more about sexuality / sensuality than it is about actual massage. Really, it’s like soft core porn to them.

If you want a sports massage, a strong massage or someone that isn’t afraid to work your muscles without being called into question on where they touch you (keep it clean now), then go to a male therapist.

September 1, 2011 at 6:12 pm
(34) Charles says:

I am a male, professional dancer and singer. I am 6’2″ and 195 lbs, so I take up a little bit of space. I have had good and bad massages from both male and female therapist, and had experiences that made me uncomfortable with both.

Generally, I prefer a male therapist, because generally they have larger, stronger hands, and provide the kind of deep pressure that I find beneficial, and can really wrap their hands around my shoulders and lower back. The therapists that I have repeatedly gone too are also less timid about performing deep work on glutes and inner thighs, which as a dancer is really important to me, as well as chest and abs which support a lot of my sound as a singer. These have also been male therapists. It seems that the best just intuitively know to work glutes, thighs and chest and abs when they know that I’m a singer/dancer.

September 3, 2011 at 3:28 am
(35) Mick says:

I am a male LMT, the first timeI touched a male in school I thught for sure I would turn into queer, but after the second week of clinicals I noticed I’m still me-HETROSEXUAL. It was through that experience I learned that most men are insecure with their sexuality until they have had multiple massages given by men, gay or hetro. When I learned to relax while working on or being worked by a male I realized I am what I am, crazy about girls, and massage is nothing more than tool for healing. For those who experience sexual advances all one needs to do is say I’m here as a healer to be be healed. If that don’t work cut the session off.

September 3, 2011 at 4:06 am
(36) MICK says:

ERECTIONS: I think it’s fair to say most every theripist has experienced the client with a erection. There is a easy remedy for this situation and it’s through controlling the breath. I have been practicing medition for many years and know that by breathing slowly and deeply that one can remove the energy from between the legs. I especially know this to be true as when I am receiving a hot stone massage I always experience a spontainious erection and therefore start my rythmic breathing to withdraw the energy. It has nothing to do with sex! So, the next time a guy develops a erection and you know it’s not sexual posturing, stop the massage and ask him to breath in slowly, hold breath to a count of 5, release slowly severl times. Then resume the massage. By doing it this way you will save much imbressment on both sides. There are many good books on controlling breath. A good place to start is at SRF.com they specialize in breathing exercises. One shouldn’t feel all freaked out and offended every time this happpens and throw him out the door. A little review of male anatomy regarding spontainous erections will go along way. We are all adults here and need to react on the higher playing-field. I hope this will be of some use to you.

October 29, 2011 at 2:03 am
(37) Robert Richards says:

I am male and I will never have a masseur. I am pure heterosexual and the idea of a male therapist, the thought is very uncomfortable. Plus I have had male most of my life and when I became an adult I found female doctors were much more patient and kind and understanding, than male ones were, although I have had a few male doctors have been goods ones, but they have been the exceptions. I seen that in flight attendants too on the few flights I have taken in my life and so I want masseuses in spas, period. I too have read about nudity in spas verses robes and being covered during the time you’re receiving services. They alway approach the topic as though you’d be uncomfortable being nude, but not from the side that you would not be uncomfortable about it. I myself would prefer to be nude. It’s not for sexual reason’s either, but for comfort. Laying there all covered up will leave me feeling to warm and wrapped up like a caterpillar in a cocoon to enjoy it and I think the choice should be totally up to the person receiving the massage on how they want the sevice. This article itself said whatever makes the massage more comfortable for the customer and for me that would be being nude and a masseuse, and should be my decision alone with some input from the spa and no one elses, period.

January 23, 2012 at 9:21 am
(38) tony G says:

As a male therapist at a spa here in ohio, and as a subcontractor for a local Massage Therapy company, I can tell you that some clients are taken aback when they realize they got a male therapist..however..once they realize I am not gay, happily married, and a damn good therapist, they leave with a whole different attitude. I have heard that 20% of Massage Therapists are male, and half of that 20% are gay. This is a stereotype I overcome by just being myself, relaxed, and putting my clients comfort and healing first. I have several female clients that are regulars now, I was their first male therapist, and they like my work. Just as women have had to sometimes be better and work harder to make it in male dominated industries, men as therapists have to work a little harder and be very dedicated to the craft , to be successful. One advantage for men in having a male therapist is men understand how the male body gets tight and know what to work on instinctively, most men have the similar muscular issues and sexual orientation has zero to do with it. The issues common to female clients is learned by male therapists, rather quickly we adapt and treat, customizing our treatment for a female client.
You will find that there are more than a few women that prefer male therapists, the key is putting your hands on as many people as possible, word of mouth will do the rest.

April 20, 2012 at 8:07 pm
(39) David says:

Most comments here are insulting and downright disrespectful to massage therapists. I’ve been to hundreds of massage therapists — many were men — but regardless of whom, every thereapist has been professional. And why the hell does it matter if the massage therapist is gay, straight, man or woman? Have a little respect for the men and women who took the training to become massage therapist and get down off your high horses. I am not a massage therapist by the way.

April 20, 2012 at 8:12 pm
(40) David says:

Most comments here are insulting and downright disrespectful to massage therapists. I’ve been to hundreds of massage therapists — many were men — but regardless of whom, every therapist has been professional. And why the hell does it matter if the massage therapist is gay, straight, man or woman? Have a little respect for the men and women who took the training to become massage therapist and get down off your high horses. I am not a massage therapist by the way.

May 5, 2012 at 9:49 pm
(41) abe alpert says:

Sorry to say, but as human beings we have a long way to go in terms of evolution. I have practiced massage for over 20 years. In that time I have experienced so much prejudice as a male therapist. It’s kinda funny, the views some, if not many have, who project their own problems and fears on to the therapist. That’s not to say that some abuses have not taken place. No doubt.
In our society abuse is ever present, in many forms, much of it inflicted by men unto women. As such, men are not trusted with touch and many people cannot accept a man as being nurturing. In my case I avoided much of this perceptual problem by highlighting my services offerings as medical, working on injury, keeping it scientific. Indeed to survive my skills developed along those lines.

For massage to really work well both parties have to feel comfortable. For that to happen there must exist some degree of trust. The bottom line is be it male of female therapist, the massage can be no better than what both parties bring to the table, so to speak.

July 24, 2012 at 2:08 pm
(42) Robert F says:

As a male therapist, I find it offensive that people assume I got into this career for any sexual reason. I didn’t pay $15,000 for school so I could grope and fondle my clients, I did it so that I could help people with their pain and make a decent living doing it. As for the men here that are scared of having a male therapist, all I have to say is that you need to grow up a little, though I do have a few gay colleagues, we’re not out to “creep” on you.

July 30, 2012 at 11:53 am
(43) Mel B. LMT says:

The thing that really gets me about this problem of male therapists finding clients, male or female is the comment about how someone tryed a male and that person copped a feel, sneeked a peek, had bad drapping skills, or was just a bad therapist does NOT mean that all male therapists are going to be that way!! It’s like me saying I don’t trust women to babysit my children because one women abused some child, got caught and had it plastered all over the news. I am proud to be a massage therapist for the reason that I help people over come pain that they delt with on regular basis, relieve headaches, and the list goes on. I’m new to owning my own business and I struggle with this every day. Drapping is very important, go nude, wear underware, the choice is yours as a client. Just please do not judge all males from one bad experience.

September 5, 2012 at 7:34 pm
(44) Frosty Dold says:

I prefer a female theapist. Sometimes I want to talk, and I think my type of humor often goes over better with women than with men. If I want firm pressure, I know more than one female therapist who is more than adquate. Usually, however, medium pressure is fine with me.

September 27, 2012 at 8:42 pm
(45) heather says:

I’ve had many massages in my life, all women. Recently I decided to get a deep tissue massage from a new place. I asked for someone that was good and didn’t like to talk. The last person wouldn’t stop talking the whole time, ugh. They referred me to a man, I was a little nervous about it but I said sure. I have to admit it was the most amazing massage ever. Totally different from a woman. I feel like he works deeper/harder sometimes but also has a soft touch, its a great combo and much better than all the other softer constant ones I’ve had. I’ve had back/neck pain for many years and he really helps fix it. Dont rule out a guy just because of the gender. I’ve been his regular client and would never waste my money anywhere else.

October 13, 2012 at 4:56 am
(46) Lee says:

After reading a few comments all I have to say is WOW! I am a male LMT and have enjoyed massage from BOTH male and female therapists but more so MALE. Men are stronger and less reserved, not sexual but more thorough because they are less inclined to be as cautious as women and a thorough massage is what we are ALL LOOKING FOR. In my extensive experience they also typically have a more intuitive touch. And NO I’m NOT GAY. If your homophobic then your missing the point and have no business seeking legitimate massage and/or having an opinion on the subject. If your a woman and have had bad experiences with male LMTs then I apologize I their behalf. I have had countless female patients/clients who were head over heals for my therapeutic massage. I always listen to what my people are looking for then use massage to discover what they also need and combine the two and have NEVER crossed any boundaries. I also never disrespect any woman with a preference, it’s your massage and you need to be comfortable with it. The best massages I have had were from men but I have also had very good massages from women. All in all men are better equipped for good, deep, therapeutic massage but we are all looking for different types of work and have different comforts. If you’re gonna be uptight/paranoid/preemptive then save yourself the time and money, forget massage. It’s supposed to be a relaxing, relieving and liberating experience. I suggest you find the right person based on their massage technique rather than anything else, don’t limit your options based on illogical aspects.

October 20, 2012 at 4:06 pm
(47) Darin says:

I am a male and I got my start at a very traditional martial arts academy where learning Asian bodywork therapy was a requirement of the system. I have worked on both male and female clients over the years and have no issues working on either gender because to me there is nothing sexual about it.

What truly matters to me as a therapist is what kind of issues the client has. Most Americans have at least some degree of anxiety about being touched. Likewise, most Americans have extreme modesty issues as compared to the rest of the world. Most Americans have a degree of anxiety simply being alone in a room with another person. Finally, most people (especially women) have trust issues regarding men.

My concern as a therapist is the fact that people with these kind of issues always perceive that someone else is the source of their anxiety. If I massage a client who has any of the above issues…I am the one who will ultimately get the blame for making them uncomfortable regardless of how hard I try to protect their sensitivities.

For this reason, I am sincerely thankful that a majority of clients request female therapists. I may not have as many clients to work with…but at least the clients I do have tend to be far less temperamental and much more pleasant to work with.

October 31, 2012 at 11:15 am
(48) JIM says:

OMG:
To 36 MICK…

Are you actually telling guys to breath to stop an erection during a massage???

I am sorry but a massage a for pleasure. The ladies get hard nipples and we are not telling them to be ashamed and breath deeply to get rid of it.

It’s only an erection PEOPLE ! It proves that the massage is a good one and the erection does not need to be touched. Just have a towel on him and let him enjoy his sexual energy before he has to go home to his yelling wife that quickly brings and erection to the floor.

Americans are so uptight with their bodies. I am also an American but i was smart enough to buy a plane ticket out when i was 23. I wish is was sooner. A bunch of homophobes, and sexually uptight people that can put female breasts everywhere but cannot let a man be a man.

Ladies… step off !!! Half of the reasons men need a massage are directly or indirectly because of you anyway. Let us guys enjoy an hour a week at our massages. At for an female massage therapists that want to sue a client when they see that he has an erection… you are in the wrong profession.

Gone are the days of private men clubs… it was our last safe haven until the ladies forced their way in. Did any guy ever want to join the girl scouts?

Men are not aloud to comment on what women do or why they do what they do. If we do we get hell and the View on us.

October 31, 2012 at 11:15 am
(49) Jim says:

Part 2:
Men are men and although i believe men always need to respect women i also believe that women need to stay out of a man’s private life. We don’t know your bodies and would never try to tell you how to act with your body so stop telling teen boys and men how to act with theirs. We get erections and they are wonderful. I will never try to deep breath to get rid on mine. Ladies, you have your multi- orgasms and i am happy for you. Men have erections that feel wonderful even if they are never even touched. Why would anyone want to take this small pleasure away from men. If your not comfortable seeing an erection just quit your massage job.
PS I have women talking to me all the time asking my why their husbands hardly ever have intercourse with them but they catch them masturbating and they order them to stop it immediately. OMG… could it be that masturbation does not come with any strings or stress?!? Let your men be men and understand that men and women are different.
Enjoy the differences.

November 30, 2012 at 5:04 pm
(50) Sarah says:

I think male massage therpist can be just as good as female . I only had one male massue so far that was yesterday . I think the perverted ones give the bad rep because not all of them are like that. The one I had he was really nice , explain what the massage was , very respectful
Ask if the pressure was ok. I beliveve no that there most of the time no difference and they have to respect the boundaries to make their money

December 12, 2012 at 5:58 pm
(51) craig says:

I am and study to be an LMT. although I am mle and gay I don’t care if you are a client you’re on my table I’m going to treat you professionally and with the upmost respect that’s my job

December 28, 2012 at 6:58 pm
(52) Ryan says:

WOW!!! These comments are full of venom, stereotypes, and ignorance. Do not listen to society when they sexualize massage therapy. Gender has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH MASSAGE QUALITY!!! People that give bad massages are usually the ones that have an issue with personality.

You can not say that all male therapists are creeps. Not all male therapists are gay. I ALWAYS hear people talk about their preference for female therapists. I can understand if your spouse is a jealous douche, but I have had rape victims use our sessions as a different therapy. They have been sexually abused, and use me to ‘re-wire’ their thinking on men. For all of you that don’t want a male therapist, you are the reason others start disliking male therapists. Your condemning us is ignorance at its finest. I am not saying you are bad people, but don’t go around saying things like ‘Don’t go to a male therapist. There was this guy in…’ REALLY?!

You can’t compare any two male therapists. I have never met a guy like me in the massage industry. I am not saying I am better. There are other male therapists much better than me. The number of years the person has been doing massage is usually the best indicator.

Stop the sexism. It is so 1700s.

December 31, 2012 at 12:40 pm
(53) Valentine2013 says:

I find it funny that most Americans Generalize / Steriotype things. I am a male massage therapist and i am not gay, and listen to my clients and don’t appreciate the comments. I have studied with osteopaths, acupuncturist, somatic therapy and rolfers in addition to regular massage school. There are good and bad in both sexes, i personally have found the problem out there is that Americans concentrate way too much on the Sex / Turn on Factor than the actual work,. Everything is Sex or homophobic issues by males, God if i get touched by a guy then i am gay. If you want me to care for your sorrows sorry I don’t give an ass, your insecurities about your own sexuality doesn’t effect me. Choose Work by Quality of the person giving it.

March 3, 2013 at 7:51 am
(54) David says:

I am the same David above. I wanted to add that when you go to a dentist, usually, you don’t say, “Oh, I don’t want a woman (or man) touching me.” Also when you’re a man you don’t go to a barber and say, “Oh, don’t touch me!” My father always went to a barber and it was for men only and if the barber was gay or not it was never talked about. As I also mentioned above, I’ve gone to hundreds of massage therapists and some were male and some were female and some might have been gay but the more I read the above comments, it’s not right that men are treated unfairly as massage therapists. So many females today do jobs that had once been for men only and society has accepted that. I think most people would agree with me that if you need major massage stretching and bending done that most males have more strength than females. The insulting thing for massage therapists is that their looks is sometimes more important to the client than their capability to do their job. I also think men have to prove themselves more as a massage therapist than a female, especially ones that are pretty and young. Again, this is not only insulting to male massage therapists but to massage therapists overall. So the next time you phone to make an appointment then take the opportunity to say you’d like a man. Don’t get me wrong, females are good too and just as good but the comments above make it seem like massage therapists has only got to do if a man is gay and a woman is attractive. Absolutely disgraceful in all respect. Let’s start treating workers in all professions who work very hard to do their jobs day in and day out with the respect they deserve. Asthe comment above ends: Stop the sexism. It is so 1700s. I SO agree with that statement.

March 20, 2013 at 11:37 am
(55) Brett says:

I find it offensive that some people feel the need on here to tell people what sex their therapist should be, or that they most try both. Massage is a very intimate setting, like it or not. Some people have been abused by a man. Some people can’t open up to men about physical problems…You look at the stats, and even though women make up 80% of massage therapists, 95 plus percent of people arrested for groping a client are males. People have all different reasons for choosing a male or female therapist, and 1/2 of massage is that you have to be comfortable with who the therapist is. I resent trying to force clients to try out therapists of a certain sex and call them homophobic if they don’t.

March 20, 2013 at 11:43 am
(56) Brett says:

David, you are seriously comparing the dentist with massage therapy? Ridiculous! Whether you like it or not, there is an intimate aspect to one that there isn’t to the other. There is a whole lot more emotion that may come out during a massage that does not during a dental appointment. No client should ever be forced to have a therapist of a sex they do not want.

March 27, 2013 at 9:45 pm
(57) Bo says:

I am a male nurse and ex massage therapist.
I imagine a female mechanic, electrician, plumber gets a rough time too.
Where your talent and interest lies is a better guide to find the right profession than cultural prejudice. I know in nursing there is a huge range of knowledge, skill and emotional intelligence. Gender is not an indicator of talent.

July 14, 2013 at 11:45 pm
(58) Joe says:

I am a straight male, and professional massage therapist. In my late 50′s I chose to go back to school after retiring from the corporate world. At school and during class, we discussed the female/male request part of the conversation, but I didn’t realize what I would be up against once school was over. My first job was being hired to work at a high-end spa, and I’m still there part-time, but am weaning myself off as I have private clients and other work outside. It’s taken time to establish myself, but the thing that’s important to say is, IMO, there absolutely is discrimination in the workplace. There are two males and four females, all qualified and each of us well versed in how to deliver a terrific session. Problem is, with all the “Female requests” I miss out on a lot of work. Some days there will be multiple appointments that I regularly miss out on, and I know the level and quality of the work I do is exceptional and have repeat clients to prove it. (And yes receive requests.) So this has forced me to look outside and it’s hard not to take personally the choice of female/male requests as a way of life at the spa. The ladies where I work simply make more and I make less as a result. Is it fair? My point is made, and it’s not.

August 28, 2013 at 1:16 pm
(59) Bill says:

Wow, I’m in my mid 40′s. have retired from one job n now running a restaurant, because I’m good at it, not because I like it. I’ve received 100′s of massages thru out the yr’s mostly by women. I have had males work on my back, neck and shoulders and will say they were damn good. However its been mostly females. And yes there have been many who refused to touch the feet, would only go a few inches above the knee and hardly touch the buttocks. I had a few good ones, 1 r 2 great ones but overall rarely was I a repeat customer to the same one. What I hated most is when I needed a massage, I needed it NOW. Yet when I would call it was always, “we can get you in next week” leaving me to go to the Chinese district. they didn’t speak good English so I always drew a pic to explain where my pain was. I will say most of them were good. Mostly thou thru the years I always went away thinking I could do better then I just received. But each time I would ask about going to school I ALWAYS got negative feedback, because I am a straight male. Any thoughts!

August 30, 2013 at 11:52 am
(60) Kyle says:

1) “Masseuse” and “masseur” are code words for prostitute. Please stop using them. :-)

2) If you have a gender preference, that’s fine. Just make sure you state your preference POLITELY and AT THE POINT OF BOOKING. Don’t be rude (i.e. “I don’t want no guys touching me!”), and don’t assume or wait until your therapist greets you (this typically results in the male therapist getting screwed over with nothing to do – and thus no pay – for the duration of your session when other people were likely turned away trying to book that same time slot).

September 11, 2013 at 11:08 pm
(61) anika says:

I’ve been going to massage therapists for about 8 years. Being a female I always chose a female massage therapist. I have to say like anything it was hit and miss. I found that sometimes they were good and sometimes they would be busy and seemed to rush through a session. After a few sad misses, my friend who is European told me to try out a male therapist. I did it and received an excellent treatment. He was really able to do a deep tissue massage. I’m going back to him for sure. For anyone hesitant I would say try getting a recommendation, and try it out.

September 15, 2013 at 12:57 pm
(62) Andy says:

As a bisexual man, I don’t have a phobia of either gender touching me or seeing my body. The two massages I’ve had we’re done by men, and I was satisfied with them. I would opt for a male massage therapist to give them a little more business, and because of the fact that they tend to be stronger than women.

February 8, 2014 at 11:15 pm
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