The first day I arrived at Miraval Spa in Tucson I asked, "Will I really be able jump off a platform 25-feet in the air? I have vertigo!" Quantum Leap is considered one of the most difficult of Miraval's "challenges" -- a variety of tasks that take place (mostly high in the air) on an impressive challenge course behind the famous destination spa. They can be both mentally and physically challenging.
I'll admit to you now that I regretted asking that question. I remembered hyperventilating with fear while rock climbing at Red Mountain Spa in Utah, and decided that "A Swing And A Prayer," the challenge that Oprah did when she filmed a show there, would be adequate.
Then someone who worked at the spa said that "A Swing and a Prayer" was not really very challenging. In fact, it the easiest challenge, and "Quantam Leap" was the hardest. So I decided to go for it, to see what would happen when I really did go WAY out of my comfort zone.
You sign up for the event so the number of people is limited. Before it begins you talk with the other people about why you are doing it. We all came from different places, physically and emotionally. One guy worked for the Philadelphia Eagles, and was very athletic. He was there to have fun -- it wasn't scary for him. Another woman who had been at the scene of 9-11 was traumatized by the memory of falling bodies, and wanted to create some new associations. My fears had to do with heights, falling, and not being able to do something well in front of other people (though I didn't realize the last until I was at the bottom of the pole.)
We put on our harnesses, went to the bottom of the pole to get instructions, and decided what order we would go in amongst ourselves. Our guide, Lewis, asked us to challenge ourselves there, too. "If you like to go first so you can get it over with, go last. If you like to go last so you can make a plan and learn from everyone else, go first."
I went third. The first two were very athletic, and as I got to the bottom of the pole I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do it as well as they did. I told Lewis, and even had tears in my eyes! He said, "It's your event, and you do what you feel comfortable with." I told him I needed quiet to be able to focus. People were shouting out "You're doing great!" to the first two climbers, and I knew it would just distract me and make me feel pressured.
So he asked the group to give me quiet -- and they did. When I got to the top I realized I had to step up onto the pole without anything to hold onto, which was a surprise. (There's another surprise, but I won't ruin it for others.) I was so focused on the jumping off part that I hadn't thought about the challenge of getting up and BEING THERE.
Somehow my muscle memory from practicing yoga kicked in, and I was able to get on top of the pole more easily than I anticipated. Once up there, I had to calm myself enough to balance, which I managed to do by saying, "It's just like yoga....it's just like yoga." I imagined I was on the ground to help calm myself down. Everyone was quiet down below, but I could feel they were with me.
After balancing a while, it was time to turn around, face the mountains, enjoy the view...and then step off. The people holding the rope let me down slowly, and when I reached the ground they applauded, and said, "That was beautiful!" I can't tell you how great I felt!
What I learned was that I could take a strength from one area -- yoga -- and apply to to a place where I didn't feel strong -- getting up onto a 25-foot pole, balancing, and stepping off. I learned I could identify what I needed (quiet), ask for it, and that people would give it to me.
What's really remarkable about these challenges at Miraval is that they give you a chance to do something you normally wouldn't do, in a way that you can't get hurt. You can have a different experience than the one you're expecting, and literally change your brain -- and your self-perception. The man from the Philadelphia Eagles told me that night that I was a "role model" because I had done something that wasn't easy for me.
That totally blew my mind. This was the person I felt intimidated by because he was so athletic. And the woman who had been at the site of 9-11 said that she was inspired by the way I asked for quiet and "gathered your inner strength". She said, "We never really know what we're giving each other." And that was a gift to me.
I'm back home, but am still very much feeling the effects of my wonderful trip to Miraval, which provides such a great opportunity for personal growth.
Photo of Anitra Brown doing the Quantum Leap Challenge, photographed by a fellow guest with a fear of heights.