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Anitra Brown

The Worst Reason To Go To A Spa

By July 17, 2012

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My brother, Graydon Wesley Brown, was killed by a stray bullet from a gang shooting while he was standing inside a Best Buy in Tulsa, Oklahoma, last Saturday.  He and his ten-year-old daughter were inside the store, looking at DVDs.  They had just purchased a birthday present for his wife, and were on their way out.

Right outside the door, a gunman ambushed a gang member and his brother in what is thought to be a revenge killing. He shot the intended victim several times as he and his brother were entering a store and tried to kill the victim's brother. One of those bullets entered the store and pierced my brother's chest.   He was the classic innocent bystander, and my family is devastated.

I never imagined I would lose my brother so early in life, and in this way. It made think about all the people I have met over the years who have relied on spas to help them deal with terrible grief. I met a widow at Canyon Ranch Lenox who spent months there after her husband died unexpectedly, because it was the only place where she felt loved and supported. She came back every year on the anniversary of his death to help her through the hard time.

A young woman who lost her husband to war came with her best friend to a spa that held very powerful, authentic sweat lodges. She told us why she was there in the lodge, and it helped them both bond and deal with the grief. It made me realize why some of the best destination spas, like Miraval and Canyon Ranch, have professionals who can help you deal with psychological issues, including death of a loved one.

A spa could also be a respite for an afternoon, a place you go to retreat for the afternoon, to be cared for, and have your spirit and body tended to. And when this is all over, I'm sure I'll be going there.

July 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm
(1) Suzanne says:

I’m so sorry for your loss, Anitra. My condolences to you and your family.

July 17, 2012 at 4:58 pm
(2) Lisa says:

I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. Know you have Angels surrounding and supporting you.

July 17, 2012 at 5:45 pm
(3) Linda says:

Anitra, You and all your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this very sad time.

July 17, 2012 at 7:14 pm
(4) Terry T says:

I’m so very sorry to hear of your terrible loss. Condolences to you and your family as you try to heal.

July 17, 2012 at 9:15 pm
(5) Pat says:

I am so sorry for your loss and your family’s loss….what a terrible story. And what a terrible thing for his daughter to witness. My condolences to you and your family.

July 17, 2012 at 9:16 pm
(6) Pat says:

I am so sorry for your loss and your family’s loss….what a terrible story. And what a terrible thing for his daughter to witness. My heart goes out to you and your family.


July 18, 2012 at 9:24 am
(7) Sallie says:

Anitra – I’m devastated by your loss but so grateful that you would share this with us. The power of spa to help heal is one of the greatest aspects of what we do. Please know that I’m sending you my sincerest condolences during this very difficult time.

July 18, 2012 at 9:57 am
(8) Julie Register says:

I am so sorry, Anitra. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

July 18, 2012 at 11:13 am
(9) Paty Quintana says:

I am So sorry Anitra, my prayers are with you and your family.

July 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm
(10) Sara Firman says:

No words can say enough here Anitra. Thank you for bravely sharing your grief and allowing us to send you our caring.

July 18, 2012 at 1:54 pm
(11) Ruth says:

Anitra – Please accept my condolences to you and your family. I had to read your first sentence twice on my Blackberry, then I went to my computer. Not that we don’t hear this in the news everyday, but its seems so unreal. Although I don’t know you I read your emails all the time and so it seems so close. I can’t imagine your pain, and for that little girl who has to live with this devastation. May GOD watch over you all.

July 19, 2012 at 10:01 pm
(12) Catherine says:

I am so sorry. The whole experience is unconceiveable and shocking and devastating. There are no words to express my sorrow for you and your family. I am so sorry and I have always appreciated and thought deeply about your writings. You and your family certainly don”t deserve this; nor anyone else.

July 20, 2012 at 3:27 am
(13) Eva says:

Anitra, I am really sorry for what had happened. I had to read your writing twice, because I wasnīt sure I was understanding what had happend, since english it is my second language. I canīt still believe it. Please take my deepest condolescent. And thank you for your work.

July 20, 2012 at 12:47 pm
(14) Lynn Spann Bowditch says:

Please accept my condolences for your loss; I hope you and your family can comfort one another, help one another grieve in a healthy way, and help your young niece cope with her trauma. What a truly horrible event.

July 25, 2012 at 12:14 am
(15) Janak Merchant says:

Sad to hear this news. Take care.

July 25, 2012 at 9:12 am
(16) Jaye says:

Anita, my deepest heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. Any loss is difficult to accept but a sudden, tragic one even more so. I lost a young nephew tragically and I understand your sorrow. May you find peace in the love of family, friends and wonderful memories of Graydon. Take Care, Jaye

July 25, 2012 at 11:41 am
(17) Miriam says:

My heartfelt smypathy to you and your family

July 25, 2012 at 3:45 pm
(18) April says:

Anitra, I’m so sorry to hear about your awful loss. Thank you for your courage in writing about it.

July 25, 2012 at 10:25 pm
(19) Jann says:

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family Anita. Thank you for sharing so openly such personal grief, you shine a light on, and help
all of us to deal with the terrible grief that is part of life.

August 1, 2012 at 7:58 am
(20) mohammad says:

I am badly sorry for your loss .I can just offer my condolences.

August 7, 2012 at 4:49 pm
(21) Marcy says:

Dear Anita,
You and your family are in my thoughts during this time of sorrow.
Many blessing.

December 18, 2012 at 5:15 pm
(22) Valorie Phillian says:

I hope the messages you are receiving will in some way help you know you are not alone. Grief is a private and lonely process but knowing people care and understand can bring some degree of comfort. I am so very sorry about this random act that took your brother from you. May time soothe your shock and grief and grant you peace. I have told myself that I will never “get over” the loss of my loved ones – but somehow I have found a way to live with the loss.

January 27, 2013 at 7:47 am
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